2:21 Biros to Paper

As part of my aforementioned tochnit, this winter I started my Masters. I went back to the student life of chewed-up biros, doodles, daydreaming and photocopying. The programme: MA Government in counter terrorism. As my university experience was nearing 6 weeks ago, I wrote the following account (yet as usual, I never quite got around to the editing and posting part of blog writing):

September was close to being the worse period of my whole Aliyah experience. It felt as if weeks were being spent in a waiting room; and as each day turned, I was unsure if I was to be directed to the entry or exit door. Days grew longer and meaning hollowed out. Suddenly, every aspect of my life turned around in one fail swoop, from negative to positive, worthless to worthwhile. All I needed was a little structure. This neurotic rant is clearer once it’s placed in the milieu of my career. If I haven’t mentioned already, I am a freelance research analyst: self-dedicated, self-structuring and self-amusing.

This morning, I started my day like any other … sat in my office space, the coffee shop, accompanied by my reliable colleagues: Mr laptop, sat upright on the table and surrounded by a scattering of papers, my 'large americano' pal, who was accompanied with the jug hot milk on the side, and my ever delectable French croissant, who was bursting with almonds and decorated with icing. I began to write the introduction to my next project: Corporate Social Responsibility in Sudan. My boss claims this report is to be of 'lighter' substance than the predecessors, which all delved into the discussion of death, torture, terrorism and suicide.

This ever-ensuing heaviness of work content, alongside the isolating elements of freelancing, has made the past four weeks of September totally unbearable. Thank goodness for change.

The difference to this morning was the following: the tingling sense of excitement fighting for the space in my tummy with the toasted almonds. I am starting university this week, to venture back into the world of academia. All those lovely, comfy, cotton-filled qualities of guidance, timetables, syllabi and teachers’ guidance are upon my door step. I will continue to be the freelancer, although with a new perspective, in which the shading of light seems so much brighter and luminous.

And this new week brought the end to the shittiest month of my two-and-a-bit year Aliyah experience to a close. At that moment, the only direction in my life seemed to head onwards and upwards.